That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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