Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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