put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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