"it" just moved
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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