Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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