She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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