You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
