omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize