dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
