we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
