I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
