Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
