FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize