When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
