His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
