i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
