I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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