i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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