I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
