Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
