I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
