Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm always down for nudity.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
