That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
