Only a mothe r could love this liver
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
