I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
