Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
