i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
