Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
