I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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