I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
