Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
