All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
