I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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