dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
