if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
