how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
