dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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