You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i would punch a child for taco bell
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
