great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
