DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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