So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
