U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
