It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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