Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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