I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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