please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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