this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
