I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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