question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
