Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
