No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
