The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i now understand why vodka
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
