shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
