I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize