Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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