I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
