is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
