the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
