I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wish my penis had a tongue
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
