walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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