Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
