who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
